Once bitten twice shy.

That is happening to me now. Miranda starts to ask about our future when she told me she doesn't want to get married early. Then why again telling me about you stress over our future?!?
I'm so tired of relationship when everyone started a new family and me, myself, stuck at a room with my brother. None of my family members understand our feeling; not even our parents. All they care is their shelter and does we make enough money for them. We as the next generation really felt helpless. We cannot even afford to have our own room while others able to live happily in theirs. Although we never complain but our heart to heart is communicating. Sometimes, I really wish to blast out in front of my family. Though our income increase, we still cannot afford a hdb flat of our own. The standard of living is way too high in singapore.

Yet once again, Miranda doesn't understand my feeling. I always get very very bothered and irritated by the way she hide her feeling and start telling me when I needed to focus my job the next day. Hated the way when I asked her if there is anything wrong and I always get that nothing nothing..
If you really have nothing, don't text me the problem before my bedtime. That is super irritating BITCH!!!!! Really upset by the way she told me about future.

When we started, you told me it is alright and we can prove the world everything is wrong. But why now!!! Why again asking me we need time to think about our future. I had told you my plan for the future. Yet you still suspect. Then what is the point of you comparing with all my ex. If you really think that you have doubts in my credibility, then don't hold my hand. Because my fingers are waiting for the right one!

Wow!!!

Time really flies fast. My last post is 31/12/2013 and now is 20/07/2014. Half a year gone in 2014 and I was almost 34 soon. Really missed my time in Tommy, HDB, Iras, ACAC, Noel and Store-11. Among most of the jobs, retail was my best in life. Of coz, that special one in my life. I guess many of them include Leon, Raymond, Doreen and Wendy had their own lifestyle now. I will be happy for them. Current company: Kong Guan Mfr Pau/Dumpling Pte Ltd at 8 woodlands link.

Job title: Marketing Executive
Job scope: Retailing

But as time passby, I'm handling more than just retail. Now I have to audit, monitor corporate sales and even my own retail outlets. Plus events as well. Really really tired of all the workload that past down to me. It's like never ending and worst is my manager is not very corporative with me. That's where I felt very sad. Many times I told myself to hang onto the job because I have great colleagues, great environment and job that I studied. Now I'm very reluctant to wake up at 6.07 everyday and get to work. I hope that this job can last me for another year before I made a huge step out again. Company did not pay according to what I expected. I just hope that they would even gave me my confirmation letter that they owe me for 2 months!!! What a shit company it is. I'm praying that they would take back my workload and continue letting me doing my own preference/skills.

I hope that fellow will leave the company asap. So I will be the only point of contact who can make the shot. I really hate people who used power/relative relationship to promote. I totally want to puke when I saw people trying to pretend like an angel. This is not a company of yours!!! Please respect the company, your job and the people who worked hard in there!!!! :(((

I will continue to survive as the end of the year is coming. I will take my first bonus and consider of staying. Provided there is a change in current situation which I doubt so. Pray for a better second half of 2014...

Goodnight everybody! ~muack~
:)))

2014 New Year Resolution:

Wishlists:

1) Wish every kids in this world will have food to eat, home for a shelter and someone to love!!!

2) Wish that my family will have a great health and happiness follow them!!!

3) Wish my career follow me till I get married, have kids and old till I die!!!

4) Wish for good relationship with my boss and huge increment from him!!!

5) Wish Miranda and Dickson be a great couple till married, till own kids, till death!!!

6) Wish for more volunteer work to be done in 2014!!!

7) Wish I strike TOTO & 4D again!!!

8) Wish for a long healthy life forever!!!

What's your wishlist? ;p

Happy happy new year to everyone!!! Have a fruitful year ahead!!!!! :p

Today is the last day of 2013.

Time for a recapz: Still remember starting of 2013 I was a happy man because I had a job and was preparing for my final year exams. Jan is celebrating Miranda birthday and Feb was always the wonderful month because of my birthday and Chinese new year. Then fall into the panic March where my final exams arrived. This was a remodule subject and I was nervous. Ended. April fool arrived and wasn't much busy at work because I was working as an administrative role. I started to hate my job because of my role there. May & June was a holiday to me and I was preparing to welcome my results! Indeed a great news to me. Graduation invites had arrived. Our relationship started to turn sour as she found that we had a poor communication. I tried to change and understand in her shoes but things didn't turn well. Both of us struggle through months and till now... July was a rush for me. Amended almost 15-20 times of my resume to fight a job with every grads. Before ceremony getting closer, received a super ultimate bad news from my previous fuck up boss, JACK ASS. He told me into his office and asked me to tender or he will fire me. The reason is because he found two staffs to cover my duty and I am not fit for the job. He even told me he knew that I am going to find a job so his intention is to fire me before I resigned. I chose to tender because I wanted my resume to be a beautiful one. For once in my life, I had never thought that I had been fired by my boss. Anyway, he is JACK ASS! _|_

Aug serving my notice and sending out resume like mad. Got few interviews but every interview I couldn't make it. Seriously unfortunate! Then Sept decided to go for a short getaway: Bangkok with Kechen while Guanzhi started a new job so he can't make it. Came back with more depression as none of the resume get me somewhere. No choice, suck thumb and rest at home. Started to shut my world from outside till I found one. Went a few interview and there was this job in woodlands link. Never expected to travel that far due to my comfort zone at central area. Gotten a 3x interviews with Kong Guan and finally... I managed to start my job at 1st Dec. So Oct and Nov is a hell at home. Waking up doing nothing and had a back injuries due to my gym. Talk about gym, I am a member of Span gym!!! LOLx. (Never expected)

Dec 2013, last month of the year = start of my career! Everytime I heard people says: The end of something is = The start of something... I definitely hope that this is a great start and a long term career in my life. I am old as I must admit; But... Young at HEART!!!!  LOLxXXx...

That is properly the recapz of what I can recall. Oh... Don't ask me if Miranda is the right girl, because I seriously don't know. If you asked me did I ever regret of my past, YES I DID. :)

Recapz: Every Monday, Wednesday & Friday is cleaning house weekly event. Morning I will clean up the house and make sure that every area is dust and mop. Recent Tuesday & Thursday was interview day.

Last interview was a second round interview and hope I can get that job. Reason is because I am bored at home already!!! :(((
Tomorrow there will be another interview at "The Old Parliament House". Sound so artistic!!! And that is the reason why I wrote this blog...

Somehow it was related to the old Laselle in Mountbatten road. I used to fetch Yunting there... Also I miss those dayz. Somehow again... I read back those blog that I wrote many years ago... It is like a kind of refreshment course... I just couldn't say it out. Yunting now is 25 and I am 32... Both unmarried... And not fated to be together... Somehow...

I guess I should learn to forget more of my past and start to build more present with Miranda.

I used to have everyone's blog.. But one day I accidentally lost everyone!!! Please come back to me!!!!! I MISS THE PAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(((

A review on the 1 year anniversary stuff I did for Miranda...

Sick again. After the heat quarrel with Miranda at Sentosa after Song of the Seas show.

Regret of waving my hand towards her neck. But everything is back on track after millions of apologies. Now I just wanna build up the relationship that I had hurt on. 

Currently no jobs offer nor interview. 

Hope that I grab a job, if not give me that BIG THING SOON PLEASE!!! <3 nbsp="">

I had made a wrong move to Store-11 Pte Ltd. It is really a dead move to me. In fact, I thought I am happy but I am not. FUCK IT, I QUIT.

I have just completed a 3km run in 18.15mins. Passby the peak, lor 1 and here I am; at the playground, lying on the situp bench looking up the sky.

The world is so beautiful.

Tonight is a cooling night for a jog. Tons of memories passing by my tiny little brain. Looking back the past when I was in retail; often came home late about 10.30pm, went jogging without a proper dinner meal and call it a day or night after jog after meal. Those dayz does not have any emotional thoughts, just good. Indeed life had change a lot during my yearz after quitting Tommy Hilfiger. Many have lost contact, some still in mind. The rest, passerby...

Now looking forward tp meet Miranda's dad but seemz like she is still very worried. I knew she is an over-worried child; one of the worst case that I had in many relationshipz. Never blame her, our choice. Just hope that everything is gonna be fine for the whole month.

One more night to holiday. Many had been out for a drink and chilled while me, kept thinking of how to protect the one that I loved from being over-worried. Well well... Like the old man always said: LET THE BOAT FLOWS BY ITSELF AND SOON IT WILL REACH THE JETTY.

Hahahaha... Praying hard for my exams and hope I will make it for graduation day! Amen, may god bless Dickson Loi. <3 p="">

Saw Yunting and my heart beats super fast. How I wish that we can talk more than just a simple hi.

Recapz: Happy five months and two dayz to us. Wish for more communication and more forgiven.

Just came back from a wake at Yishun. Uncle pang left us on monday morning 2am. Although we seldom chat but he still remember me. I still remember last time when he opens a stall at SSDC selling mixed vegetable rice. I always got free lunch while waiting for my practise in there. They even help me to arrange good tester for me. I am glad to have uncle pang this life and I hope next life and next next life as well. Wanted to send him tmrw at 1pm but I can't due to work. I bet there will be a lot of sadden cry. I pray that he will go to heaven and offered to a new family.

I wish to change a job.. But I don't know what is next. Cannot decide now. Brain dead.. :((

Uncle pang, I will miss you a lotz a lotz... :"(((

10 Resolution for 2013:

1) Work harder to earn more

2) Set up my own company name with a small office

3) Visit Makassar in Indonesia as a visit to Miranda's parents

4) Pass every module and graduate from Murdoch University

5) Promote to next level in the company and have my own staffs to guide

6) Buy ToTo strike ToTo; Buy 4D strike 4D; Buy soccer bet win win win

7) Have a strong health and safe in working everything

8) Have more gatherings with my family and friends

9) Accompany Miranda most of the time 

10) Miranda and our LOVE gets stronger and both of us healthier

So longgg 2012... Today is the last day of the year 2012!!!

I want to say that this year I have a wonderful year and some bad but overall everything was great!!!! I want to thanks those who have helped me a lot in this past one year especially my family when I went for knee operation, my SMA (now change to SMF) classmates who borrow their notes and knowledge to guide me along, not forgetting my campmates who went swimming, jogging and sun-tanning when we were extremely bored!!!! Lastly, my girls friends and friends who were often there helping me to solve certain issues...

Recapz of 2012: Jan; join IRAS, work there as a temp staff. Interviewed with Diana and same dept with Victor aka Chelsea fan!!! Suzi and alfi with the rest were great mentor. Worked for three months before heading for knee operation. My dad accompany that day before I am push into the room. One night stay at TTSH. Visitors: Hanisha, Meryl and my family members... Not forgetting, speedy recovery from my FB friends..

Feb: Celebrate CNY with Fong Li and husband Matthew who came back from USA. They are now working and staying in Korea. Also celebrating my 31st bday. Got treat and exchange gift from girls friends and friends wishes from FB.

March: Knee Operation on 28/3/12.

April: whole month resting at home and preparing for exams.

May: passed my tongka stick to storeroom. Hehehe... Celebrate Mae bday at jurong bird park the dim sum restaurant.

June: Looking for a job and preparing for school reopen.

July: continue doing nothing and rot at home.

Aug: Finally got myself a job! Working at Noel Pte Ltd. Jess and Joyce were my bosses but both were not treating that good. So after a month handling their mooncake festival, I resigned and concentrate with studies.

Sept: Continue look for a job and restart new modules. Failed International Marketing and continue my MRA, IM and IMC. Receive disappointment results but continue to work harder as can't afford to fail.

Oct: Started a brand new relationship with my Mrs Loi Miranda Gomasjaya! Simply Love Her!!! After that I found a new job and my current company, Store-11. My boss, Mr Jack Tan is a good guy but stingy. Aunty Wai Fong is a good person but very hard to predict her act. Peter and JY are both from management team. But always like to boost around act like a boss to me. One day I am going to show them my power to them.

Nov: Mid-term exams and pass one month at work. Smooth month.

Dec: Final exams over and prepare for 2013!!!!!

Overall, I wish everyone a wonderful 2013 and a happy new year!!!!!

After September 11 till now... November 15..

HAPPY 1 MONTH & 1 DAY ANNIVERSARY TO MIRANDA AND ME!!!!!

After a year ++ I am now finally attach back with the red string and I felt that we are too similar.

Recapz: Install WeChat at KL. Start using it and realised how fun it is. Back in SG, randomly tried SHAKE, get to know Miranda. So nice and sweet at first. Then came our first meet up session. Told her TPY last cabin, end up she was waiting at the first cabin. That time was the first time after so long I ever touch and so close to a girl coz she doesn't know how to play pool. So after pool, we went window shopping at Cineleisure and had dinner at the food court where they sold Korean food, our first meal together. After eating, I bring her walk around and walk towards Clark Quay but she thought I am a bad person, wanted to bring her to uncertain places. After walking at Clark Quay, I help her took a photo of the Mid-Autumn and we took a bus 145 home. At that time, we were looking at the google map to find her Makassar hometown. After I sent her to the MRT, we continue to chat and meet up more often..

I started to feel my heart for her but she told me she wasn't ready to accept me due to her parents concern. Once again, I thought "OH SHIT" Just like Iris and me last time. But this time round, I will not give up easily. I promise to fight for our future till the day I die. After I tried so many times asking Miranda to be my official GF, she finally agreed. That night is a very long night coz the next day is Alvin, my campmate buddy's GUO DA LI day!!!

So we were finally together and she told me its her first relationship and I told her I am honour. So we dated this 14/10/2012 as our every month, year anniversary.

Eventually, I am suppose to give her a sunflower in the morning of 13/11/2012 which falls on Deepavali itself. But everything was ruin by an idiot msg her. And we got a heat argument and that is the second time I made her cry ever since we were together. But...

I never give up!!! I brought her to Istana Open House and gave her a surprise on this very important day! I get her a card and a photo frame with 4 photos which I felt that she is able to change it anytime she wants. Well, she is really surprise when I gave her the present. As I told her before the day end...

THE BEST THING IS YET TO COME. TRUST ME, YOU WILL MISS ME MORE AFTER TONIGHT!!!

And it really work well on her and I am glad that God gave me Miranda as my GF. I will promise to take care of her and make her my future wife. :)

Nearly a month without a job and i am still surviving. :)

I think a lot of people hate me by now as i am still enjoying my life since my last job. Been doing a lot of things that i wanted to do but no time. Examples: Sentosa and walking around the forest. Really enjoy those momories. But sad to say; no one shares my feeling. Although Eugene was very close with me lately but i somehow feels that i still need a love one to share my feeling.

Yes, i must admit that recently i have been going out with different girls. But they are all my BBF. And yes.. Maybe i put too much effort in listening to their stories. Whereby none actually ask me about my love life. Sadly to say.. I don't think I will be getting married. 31 this year and no gf. No job. Who will want a guy like me... Well, questions arising again.. Whose in my mind?!?

I say S, nice girl, but she has a bf. i don't wanna be a jerk!!! So shes out!
A, nice girl, but she falls for someone who has a stable job than me! Although she hasn't choose, but i rather give in. Cos she always find me as a big brother than r/s. and most importantly, i m sick; really sick and tired of all these brother stuff.
I, good girl. Mature enough till totally no time for me. How to ask her to be my gf when i need 80% attention. Well, i cannot find a good match to her and i really hope she find someone good and matching for her.
M, she is a confuse child. At times, she wanted a bf badly that she picked someone to my surprise!! Omg, totally ridiculous!!! She was a nice girl but she just doesn't know how to appreciate a good guy. The way she handle guys are like... Argh... Don't be bother about her.
H, totally nice and good girl. Its really a waste that she cannot slim down and she is still denied about her overweight. Yet telling me she is doing her best to excerise. Well, i want a gf or wife to be as healthier. But if you cannot meet my little expectation, how to be together?
G, ever since your divorce, i have been trying hard to make you happy. Hoping and thinking over you. But you seriously disappointed me even as a friend. You cut me off from FB! Wtf!!!! Yet asking me to add you back. Seriously, you need to see a doctor to cure it.

I must admit.. Above all the mentions are my best friends forever. I, Dickson Loi, swear to god that they will be my best friends forever and I shall stop them from entering my love life story; not even this close in this life. ❤

Offically unemployed again! Hahaha... Till now I still feels that I have make the right choice. Leaving that company which don't appreciate talent worker like me is a shameful to them. Although the juniors in the team are much more bonding than otheor department but they are just as awful as I felt. Worst than all my ex-colleagues in other companies.

Reason is because they started to boycott me after I told them I am leaving the company in 2 weeks time. They are not encouraging but blame me for throwing the balance stuffs to them. What a joke. Seriously, I really don't think I would want such a friend, not even close to be my friend... The way they totally ignore me and pretending to be talk for the seek of talking, I felt like telling them STOP BEING A FAKESTER!!!!!

I REALLY REALLY THANK GOD FOR THE GUIDANCE OUT OF THE COMPANY.

Seriously, I found potential learning in that company but its just THE WHOLE MANAGEMENT OF THE DEPARTMENT IS SUCKY!!!

I foresee that if that is not the problem, I could stay for a year or even more. But... its too late!!!

I really learn a lot in that company, NOEL. Such as SAP, Contacting the suppliers, production side and not forgetting the store department!!! I only came to have fun and talking to them like my last few days as I was trying to ask them for help. Otherwise, I don't even have a chance to get to know them. Well, its all fated that we were once colleagues... Till we meet again, NOEL!!! :)))

Tired and extremely tired of working in this company. Nothing to do also tired. Got things to do also tired. Worst thing is kana scold or shout for nothing.

First time in my life I work in a company, not your fault also become your fault. Starting I am curious why the turnover rate is so high... Then I start to realise... It's the management that has the problem, not the workers. I ask myself, why do you want to continue working in such company, just leave... When I think of no money, I swallow everything against me. Starting I really thought is because I am slow and cannot cope. Then I start to realise that manager scold me to hint another person. Yet I am so innocent to get it from her!!! I tell myself, asking why!!! I was following someone instruction to do all these. When I start to do my own, manager will question me: why never ask me first before you start? Show me before you send to supplier. Seriously, this is not what I am looking forward to. I heard about your rumours but I have been quietly seating one corner and pretend nothing happened. But why once again pick on me. WHY???

Sometimes, I thought I really found a great job but in the end, its the previous job that is good. Maybe I am stress with my school as well. But I will never give up until end of this month. I DIE DIE want to earn this AUG income!!!

Time to study... Goodnight and goodbye Monday Blue! :(((

Tonight I've done a brave thing. 1 shot kill 3 women. All are important to me. Firstly, I want to apologise to mummy, tammie and jesmiin. Mummy, I did tell John that I am not having anything for supper but if you already make my tea, I am fine. I will still drink. Yes, you wanted me to wash my face with tea coz I just came back from wake. Fine too. But you stare at me when I told you I forgot to shower with that.. I mean come on! Its too much.. You get angry over this small matter. Omg!!! So ended, I still wash it with my face. :( Tammie, I know you are pissed off with me and my delay of timing to zouk. But I really have my reasons. I thought of telling you when I eventually meet you... But you really disappointed me to the max!!! First, I told you I am in school. You say 11pm at orchard. Then you text me at 1030 tell me you are not sure of going down a not. You yourself suggested to drive down. So we have more than enough time. And you said that if its really pack then we go chilled or somewhere else.. I am ony a follower!!! Omg.. I pnly ask to meet at 1130 coz I WENT TO A WAKE WHICH IS NO CHOICE ONE. Tonight is my friend's sister last day on earth. Its really really sad to know that she die of choking incident. But you never know the story, tammie.. Coz you super impatience. I admit its my fault for not telling you coz I don't think its nice to tell another person about bad things.. But really.. I mean it as no matter what, I will still meet you if you are not driving.. We can always take cab one lor. Anyway, I think no point of saying anymore.. So I just blog lor. Lastly is Jesmiin!!! Truely enough I am suppose to go zouk. But the way you talk to me is like talking to your husband. Sadly, I am just your friend!!! Of coz, you definitely stand an importance but please don't treat me like a piece of shit or dog. When I told you I am going wake, I really mean it. Its you who trusted not to believe me!!! Damn disappointed. Worst and painful feeling is the way you talk to me. Your selfishness at that moment for not lending my your notes make me feels that you are like that kind of people. And I never even throw a temper to you. I even help you throw mcdonald waste. I really don't understand you now. Is it because we are too close till you feels that I am the next person after your husband??? Please lah.. I haven't get married nor having a gf yet!!! How can you treat me like that??? Really sad lor.. I said my friend wants to intro me a girl coz he is concern about me. You told me if I not scare of different status.. Omg!!! Instead of congrats to me like marcus did, you straight away rejected whatever I said. Damn!!! Seriously, I really don't know why all these incidents happen within 3 hours but I really really wanted to applogise to all the three of them. I AM SORRY. Until now I did not regret of making my choice of going to the wake and left school early... Never..

Time for sharing some photos I took since Jan 2012. The rest is in my FB. :))

3 months passed. And I have found a new job in Tai Seng area. It was a surprise job for me as I thought they were not going to hire me. Well... Fated.

Company benefit wasn't very fantastic but environment was good. Get to learn more things other than sales. My second week with the new company. Coincidentally, my cousin, Hui Ting was working there too. Get to know new staffs and they are pretty nice people to work along. (For the time being)

Exam is round the corner again. This time is first week of Aug. This year Aug gonna be a busy month for me. Exams, work, and holidays. Hopefully air ticket's price dropped so my campmates and I get to go holidays. :))

14 dayz to 1 year. It is really very fast... And I am still

I am reading through online article of a Private NSF who passed away ytd afternoon, my condolences to his family. Looking through the comments, i realised that a lot of singaporean parents are not willingly to send their sons to NS Training. I believe that most of them fear that their children will DIE when they enlisted into Army. Some of them feels that its meaningless to even join the forces. But what lies behind Army, no one knows execpt those who had gone through...

People always think that their children look fit and healthy at 20s but why are they leaving earth? At times, training is tough, totally agreed. I remember those days outfield training was tough. 4D3N without showering, wearing smelly uniforms and keep walking through forests like we never know when it will end. Everything was just FUCK UP. But...

My officer never failed to encourage us; Cannot Bath right, Powder Bath lo. Smelly Uniform right, take out field pack one and change lo. Tired of walking right, at least here got forest shelter, outside HDB to your destination got fully sheltered meh. Thirsty, got two full water bottle, how to get dehydration? With these that I have gone through in my life, I seriously felt that how can a person die during his training?

I really thinks that no one wish to see things happen like this. Personally I believe that this is an unnatural death.